Wednesday, July 24

Cut it Out!

We tell our kids, "Cut it out!" so much that we might as well be trying to fill up a sieve with sand. It will never stop. But as much as I preach to the contrary, I did it myself this morning. Great balls of fire! And what did my child say in reply? "Mommy, I don't know what you mean when you say that, so it makes me think I can't talk at all!"
Really, now. I'm a speech therapist. I deal with behavior all the time, and it's second nature to "explain" exactly what I mean, in very blunt, specific terms so that kids don't get confused. I do it all the time, everyday, and no doubt my own kids are sick of it. So you would think that might buy me one or two times snapping, "Cut it out!" at the breakfast table and my kids might actually problem solve and figure out what I mean. Sheesh. We try so hard to be good mommies; calm, kind, and lovingly instructive. Aren't we allowed a stressed moment and shouldn't our kids just "figure it out" once in a while?

Apparently not. Sure, we can stress all we want, but it doesn't help our kids act better. I wanted my nine-year-old to understand that by, "Cut it out," I meant, "Use kind words, soften your tone, and don't boss you sister by telling her she's putting too many croissants on her plate." Then I want my twelve-year-old to understand that the same "Cut it out," is directed at her as well, and it means, "Don't snap back at your sister that she's got crumbs on her shirt just because your feelings have been stomped on and you don't like being told what to do by a younger sibling."

I'm giving myself a headache just putting this down into words. How on earth were my children supposed to interpret that convoluted, wordy message out of a completely empty and curt, "Cut it out"?

I'm just lucky enough that when I slip up, they use more communicative words than their mother and kindly remind ME to cut it out.

Cheers friends!

1 comment:

  1. Well said. I struggle every day to be more detailed in exactly what I am asking my little one to do. Even when I praise him I want to be specific and yet non-judgmental, it requires me to be way more present than I am with most other people...